AFS – Absent Father Syndrome ∙∙

AFS – Absent Father Syndrome ∙∙

Consider the incredible love that the Father has shown us in allowing us to be called “children of God” – and that is not just what we are called, but what we are. – 1 John 3:1 (Phillips translation)

Romans 8:15-16

 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”

 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,

There is a Missing Father Crisis in America. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, more than 25% of American children, 19.5 million, are growing up in homes without a father. This starkly contrasts the situation in 1960, when merely 11% of children were living in homes without their fathers. The states bearing the brunt of this crisis are Mississippi, which has the highest number of children living without a father in the home, 36.2%, followed by Louisiana, 34.4%, and Alabama, 30.7%. Conversely, Utah, North Dakota, and Idaho have the lowest prevalence of father absence, with rates of 11.5%, 14.4%, and 16%, respectively.

The absence of a father can leave indelible emotional scars on the children left behind, leading to what has been dubbed “The Absent Father Syndrome.” Why are fathers missing? This can be attributed to either the physical absence of the father due to circumstances like death, divorce, demanding work schedules, or a lack of emotional presence. Even when the father is physically present, he is “not there” for his children. In both scenarios, the father is unable to provide the necessary foundation for the child’s healthy character development, self-esteem, and identity, leading to a psychological void.

Compounding the issue is that our relationships with our human fathers, or lack thereof, often shape our perceptions of our heavenly Father. A strained relationship with an earthly father can inadvertently influence one’s feelings toward the Heavenly Father. Transferring those feelings from a human father to God the Father is natural. Thankfully, such damage is not irreparable. The void and ache in our wounded hearts can be redeemed. Understanding and believing Who and What our heavenly Father is makes all the difference in the world.

One of the deepest longings of the human heart is to feel accepted and to belong. One of the profound aspects of our relationship with our Heavenly Father is that we are adopted into His Forever Family and truly become His children. This is hard to grasp fully. We could contemplate it for all eternity and never fully come to terms with the wonder and magnitude of it all.

REFLECT & PRAY

As children of the King, our identity and security are based solely upon being adopted into the Father’s Forever Family.

Dear Father, Abba, help me realize that I am not only called Your child; I am Your child! I belong to You forever! You are always “there for me.”

INSIGHT

It is mindboggling when we recognize that our adoption was not finalized “on paper.” None of us have a physical certificate of adoption. Instead, it took place deep within our hearts and spirits. When we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ and accepted Him as our Lord and Savior by faith, extraordinary supernatural events unfolded. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, we were born again. Rather than a fragile, destructible certificate of rebirth, our adoption is written down and guaranteed in the eternal word of God.

Romans 8:15-16

 15 So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”

 16 For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.

Before our adoption, we were the slaves of fear. But now that the Holy Spirit has come to dwell within us, we have been released from slavery. There is now no need for us to live in fear. What a welcome and blessed relief!

But that’s not all.

We are no longer required to refer to Him strictly as Father. Instead, He becomes our Abba Father. In English, the term “father” can suggest formality, severity, or detachment. This is not the case with terms like Papa or Daddy, which convey a sense of closeness and intimacy. They imply a close, intimate relationship. There is a sense of endearment, a warm embrace with smiles, kisses, hugs, and even a few tickles. That’s what our adoption does for us.

It’s not a sign of disrespect when we address our heavenly Father as Abba. The encouragement and prompting to do so come from the Holy Spirit Himself within us.

Galatians 4:6 Because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.”

The phrase, Abba Father, appears again in the New Testament. In the garden of Gethsemane, when Christ is in anguish regarding His coming betrayal, trial, humiliation, crucifixion, and death, He cries out, fervently praying, “Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine” (Mark 14:36).

Our adoption isn’t something we earn; it’s a gift freely given when we acknowledge the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior.

John 1:12-13

 12 But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.

 13 They are reborn – not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.

Abraham Lincoln asked, “How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg?” The correct answer is Four. “Saying that a tail is a leg doesn’t make it a leg.”

1 John 3:1 Consider the incredible love that the Father has shown us in allowing us to be called “children of God” – and that is not just what we are called, but what we are (Phillips translation).

We are not just CALLED the children of God; we ARE the children of God!

Some earthly fathers are good, others not so much. A few fathers are great! Our heavenly Father surpasses even the greatest of these; He is magnificent! He desires to foster a relationship with us that is intimate, gentle, and brimming with warmth. He invites us to address Him as Abba. There’s no room for fear when we approach our Papa! What could be less intimidating and more inviting than a Papa? Perhaps only a sweet, loving, and indulgent grandpapa.

1 John 4:18-19

 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

 19 We love because He first loved us.

He seeks to fill the void, the vacuum that so many of us have inherited from our absent fathers.

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© Dr. H 2024