Is masculinity toxic? ∙∙

Is masculinity toxic? ∙∙

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. – Ephesians 5:25

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.

1 Peter 3:7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Toxic masculinity is seen by many as a rampant disease plaguing the nation. They suggest that more than 40% of men today suffer from it. Toxic masculinity refers to the belief that certain traits associated with traditional “manliness” promote dominance and aggression. It encompasses societal expectations dictating how men should behave, often pressuring them to adopt behaviors considered harmful.

Commonly defined in popular culture, toxic masculinity revolves around three key elements:

• Toughness: Mandates men to exhibit physical strength, emotional detachment, and aggressive behavior.
• Antifemininity: Encourages rejecting anything perceived as feminine, such as displaying emotions or seeking assistance.
• Power: Implies that men should strive for power and status (both socially and financially) to earn respect from others.

Such norms include but are not limited to self-reliance, stoicism, strength, virility, and dominance. Some identified characteristics of toxic masculinity are:

• Avoiding vulnerability or emotions to avoid appearing weak
• Believing violence or aggression is an acceptable way to resolve conflicts and validates manhood
• Seeking dominance at the expense of others’ well-being
• Dismissing affection as unnecessary or weak
• Strict adherence to traditional gender roles, avoiding feminine activities
• Mocking those who don’t conform to masculine norms
• Valuing sexual conquests as a measure of success

The Babylon Bee – a satirical Christian website, asks: “Are you Suffering from Toxic Masculinity?” It is incumbent upon every male to know the warning signs of this “virulent social disease” plaguing the nation.

What are some of the early warning signs of toxic masculinity?

• A belief that men and women are at least a little bit different. If you’re a woman who believes this, then you suffer from an even worse disease called internalized misogyny.
• Eating meat on occasion.
• Holding the door open for a woman once in a while.
• Yelling stuff about freedom and charging into battle wearing blue face paint.
• And the most telling sign of all is being a man who doesn’t hate himself.

Of course, this is nothing new. This social “disorder” began with the Father’s instructions to Adam and Eve in the garden. The idea caught on and was expanded through teaching in the Old and New Testaments.

Puzzlingly absent from the symptoms of “toxic masculinity” are courtesy, kindness, servant leadership, loyalty, self-sacrifice, love for country and family, and commitment to defend and protect those loved and cared for.

The Old Testament emphasizes the importance of the man’s commitment to his wife and his responsibility to love her and bring her happiness and security.

Deuteronomy 24:5 A newly married man must not be drafted into the army or be given any other official responsibilities. He must be free to spend one year at home, bringing happiness to the wife he has married.

Proverbs 5:15 Drink water from your own well and share your love only with your wife.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.

The New Testament elevates expectations for men by emphasizing the equal and respectful treatment of women. Husbands are urged to love their wives selflessly, remain faithful, and even be willing to die for them.

Does this sound positive and admirable or toxic and destructive? Well, according to the viewpoint of some people in our fallen world, it is very toxic. Those who feel that masculinity is toxic disregard the standards set by the Father, the Lord God, who reigns above. He is the One who sets the standards. Rejecting His principles and absolutes typically stems from a lack of respect or admiration for Him, leading to disdain or denial of His existence.

REFLECT & PRAY

As children of the King, our core values revolve around our personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. As our relationship with Him deepens, our actions align more closely with His divine standards.

Father thank You for setting righteous standards for our lives and granting forgiveness when we falter. Encourage and strengthen us to strive to do what is right.

INSIGHT

Societal trends can be likened to a teeter-totter. One trend usually gives birth to a counter-reaction. Throughout human history, themes of violence, malice, and wickedness have persisted. It is common for a tipping point to herald significant paradigm shifts in response.

Which of the following statements seems most accurate?

• Some men are bullies
• Many men are bullies
• All men are bullies

Toxic masculinity, initially a term from academia, originates from historical instances of male dominance, misogyny, and violent behavior leading to brutality and destruction. Unfortunately, the egregious actions of a few have unfairly become a negative stereotype for the majority.

The transformation of toxic behaviors into a broad condemnation, labeled as “toxic masculinity.” This highly generalized evaluation is prima facie unfair, inaccurate, and discriminatory. Such partiality is hurtful, insulting, divisive, and destructive. The toxic violence of a few has become a discriminatory descriptor of the many. It fails to consider the kind, gentle, selfless, and humble characteristics of many men.

In contrast, healthy masculinity emphasizes constructive behaviors that benefit individuals and communities, promoting inclusivity and emotional intelligence while transcending outdated stereotypes. Here are some examples of these positive masculine traits:

• Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another, fostering deeper connections and compassion in relationships.
• Resilience: The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, demonstrating physical, emotional, and mental strength.
• Integrity: A strong sense of honesty and morality that guides one’s actions to be consistent with values of truthfulness and fairness.
• Responsibility: Taking accountability for one’s actions and their impact on others, including providing and caring for oneself and those one is connected to.
• Courage: This is not just in the physical sense but also in having the bravery to be vulnerable, speak out against injustice, and stand by one’s convictions even when it’s difficult.
• Self-Reflection: The ability to introspect and examine one’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations to grow and improve continually.
• Respect for Others: Recognizing and treating others with dignity and understanding, regardless of gender, background, or beliefs.
• Emotional Intelligence: Being aware of, controlling, and expressing one’s emotions healthily and handling interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
• Adaptability: The willingness to be flexible and change one’s approach in the face of new situations or information, showing strength in versatility.
• Supportiveness: Offering encouragement and assistance to others, showcasing a commitment to uplifting those around one.

These traits demonstrate that masculinity, freed from toxic stereotypes, encompasses qualities that contribute positively to individual character and societal harmony.

“Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood, designating manhood as defined by violence, sex, status, and aggression” (The Good Men Project).

“Never allow cruelty; it undermines the natural courage and manliness of the perpetrator” (USMC).

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© Dr. H 2024