What’s in your cup? ∙

What’s in your cup? ∙

It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person. – Matthew 15:11

Matthew 15:18-20

18 But the words you speak come from the heart – that defiles you.
19 For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.
20 These are what defile you. Eating with unwashed hands will never defile you.

Imagine this scenario: You’re holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along, bumps into you, and causes the coffee to spill everywhere.

Why did you spill the coffee?

You might say, “Because someone bumped into me!”

But that’s not entirely true. You spilled coffee because that’s what was in the cup. If it had been tea, you would have spilled tea. The point is this—whatever is inside the cup is what will come out, no matter who or what shakes it.

The same principle applies to us. When life shakes us—and it will—whatever is inside us is what will spill out. It’s easy to maintain composure when everything is calm. But when challenges come, when stress and pressure build, the truth about what fills our hearts is revealed.

So, here’s the question we need to ask ourselves—what’s in my cup?

When life gets tough, what spills over? Is it joy, peace, kindness, and gratitude? Or is it anger, bitterness, impatience, and harshness? We have the choice to fill our hearts with goodness and righteousness that reflect God’s character or allow negative traits to fester and take root (HeySuccess.com, August 27, 2018).

Too often, we focus on what’s visible from the outside. We pour energy into maintaining appearances—our looks, cleanliness, accomplishments, or how others perceive us. At the time of the Lord Jesus Christ, the religious leaders were preoccupied with externals while totally ignoring what really mattered, the internals – the matters of the heart.

The Lord Jesus Christ pointed out this contrast with striking clarity in Matthew 23:23-28. He rebukes the Pharisees for their focus on outward appearances while neglecting internal transformation. He says, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.”

He continues, “You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside, they are full of greed and self-indulgence. First, clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” He was blunt, direct, and highly confrontational with the religious leaders who were bound up in their traditions and externals. Several hurtful words were spoken; they were blind hypocrites filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.

His words remind us that true change starts with the heart. Outward actions that appear righteous are meaningless if our inner lives are filled with selfishness, pride, or hypocrisy. Only when we focus on cleansing our inner selves—aligning our hearts with justice, mercy, faith, and love—will our outward lives reflect the beauty of God’s truth.

When life shakes our “cups,” we have the opportunity to critically evaluate what spills out and why. By allowing God to transform us from the inside out, we can become vessels of His grace and peace, shining examples of His love in a world that desperately needs it.

The choice is ours daily—what are we filling our hearts with?

REFLECT & PRAY

The words we speak reflect the actual state of our hearts.

Father, I ask for Your help to address and reverse the harmful inclinations lurking in my heart. Fill my heart with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, kindness, gentleness, and love. May my words affirm and encourage others, honoring You in all I say.

INSIGHT

When James discusses the tongue, he’s not merely referring to the physical organ but to the words it produces—the language we use to express ourselves. Throughout Scripture, we are reminded of the immense power of words, both for good and for harm. Again and again, we’re instructed to control our speech, for the tongue holds the potential either to build up or to destroy.

James 3:2-13 teaches us about this dynamic. James writes, “We all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. A small bit in the mouth of a horse can guide its entire body, and a small rudder can steer a massive ship, even through strong winds” (v.2-4).

Yet, as James explains, the tongue, though small, is immensely powerful—and dangerous. “The tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches, but a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. The tongue is a flame of fire . . . corrupting your entire body . . . set on fire by hell itself” (v.5-6).

James draws attention to how both blessings and curses often come from the same mouth. He challenges this contradiction, saying, “Surely, this is not right! Does a spring produce both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring” (v.10-12).

James’ vivid metaphors help us see how destructive words, fueled by unchecked emotions or intentions, can wreak havoc—much like a spark igniting a forest fire. These harsh, uncontrolled words stem from the heart, where sin can take root (Richardson).

What spills from our mouths in those heated, unguarded moments reveals what resides within us. Words of cruelty, mocking, bitterness, or hatred don’t emerge by accident—they originate from the content of our hearts. James even describes the tongue as being “set on fire by hell” (Richardson).

James personifies hell and recognizes it as an active force that stimulates and inflames abusive, destructive words. James is saying that hell itself burns within us. Hell is seen as an active agent that impels vicious, abusive, demeaning, mocking, hateful, violent, often curse-filled, uncontrolled words and tongue lashings.

But this doesn’t have to be our story. When our hearts are transformed, our words follow. Paul offers a beautiful guide for our speech in Colossians 4:6, where he instructs us, “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”

Instead of lashing out in moments of frustration, we can choose words marked by grace, patience, and kindness. Instead of spreading destruction, we can offer healing and encouragement. The change begins within—by allowing God to refine our hearts, filling us with His love, wisdom, and peace.

Control over the tongue isn’t simply about biting back words in moments of stress. It’s about cultivating a heart so filled with Christ’s character that what overflows are words of life, joy, and grace. May we each strive to nurture such a heart, one that reflects God’s love in the words we speak to others.

It is incumbent upon each child of the King to take responsibility and work to change the content of their hearts. But it is an uphill battle! But by the grace of God, it is a battle we can win.

Proverbs 26:20-22

Without wood, a fire dies out, and without a whisperer, strife comes to an end.
Just as charcoal feeds hot embers and wood fuels a fire, a quarrelsome person stirs up conflict.

The words of a gossip are like tasty morsels—they are savored and absorbed deeply into the soul.

The Hebrew word for whisperer, gossiper, or slanderer is ragan. Ragan describes someone who “mutters complaints or criticisms under their breath” “spreading dissatisfaction and discontent.” Ragan is often associated with “grumblers,” “complainers,” “slanderers,” or “subtle murmurers” who “sow seeds of discord.”

Complainers and gossipers provide the destructive fuel that keeps quarrels alive, just like dry wood feeds flames or charcoal sustains coals. When people stop whispering behind the backs of others or spreading negativity, even old conflicts can lose their fire and fade away (Proverbs 26:20-21). But a bit of enticing gossip—a seemingly harmless piece of slander—acts as bait, drawing listeners in (Proverbs 26:22). “Gossip makes its way to the innermost being of the hearer; that is, it corrupts the soul” (Garrett).

Far from idle chatter, gossip wields significant power. It’s not merely words; it’s a tool artfully used to manipulate perceptions and fracture relationships. A skilled gossiper can shape how others view someone, altering trust and unity within a community. Their quiet, insidious speech may be subtle, but its consequences ripple outward, causing harm to reputations and relationships (Bland).

The metaphor of fire perfectly captures its destructive essence. Gossip, like a tiny spark, can grow into a raging blaze that consumes everything around it. If we partake in it, we risk adding to the chaos instead of fostering unity and understanding.

What fuels your fire? When you speak, are your words adding peace and grace, or are they kindling strife? A quiet heart, absent of gossip and complaint, extinguishes the sparks of discontent and makes way for harmony.

What’s in your cup (apologies to Capital One)?

¯_(ツ)_/¯11-15-2

© Dr. H 2024