Why is forgiveness so important? ∙
Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. – 1 Peter 3:9
1 Peter 3:8-12
8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.
9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.
10 For the Scriptures say, If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.
11 Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.
12 The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.
Forgiveness in a Broken World
We live in an imperfect world filled with brokenness and sin. No one is exempt from hurt or mistreatment. Often, the pain we experience comes from those closest to us, our family, friends, coworkers, or neighbors. This injustice may take many forms, such as disrespect, discrimination, or harassment; the use of derogatory speech, verbal abuse, belittling someone, or actions or words designed to intimidate, embarrass, disparage, or undermine the individual at the receiving end.
Life is often overshadowed by abuse and, in some cases, outright persecution. Mistreatment and offensive behavior can manifest in various ways. We feel a profound sense of outrage toward these injustices, and our instinct may be to pursue justice or counter evil with evil. Internally, we may scream, “This is just wrong! Utterly wrong!”
Yet, as children of the King, God calls us to a higher standard.
How Should We Respond?
Warren Wiersbe wisely stated, “As Christians, we can live on one of three levels. We can return evil for good, which is the satanic level. We can return good for good and evil for evil, which is the human level. Or, we can return good for evil, which is the divine level. Jesus is the perfect example of this latter approach.”
The Lord Jesus Christ taught in Luke 6:32-33, “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!”
Christ’s teaching calls us to extend love, grace, and mercy even when we are offended or wronged. This is not an easy choice. Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt us requires extraordinary courage and strength. The good news is that God equips us for this divine task through the power of the Holy Spirit.
What Forgiveness Looks Like
The apostle Peter gives practical steps to guide our actions in difficult situations. He encourages us to respond to offenses with humility, tenderheartedness, and blessings instead of retaliation. This Christlike response reflects the Father’s mercy and opens the door for His blessings in our lives. Here’s the same admonition from 1 Peter 3:9 repeated for emphasis: “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.”
This divine approach is challenging but ultimately rewarding, both spiritually and relationally.
Why Forgiveness Matters
Forgiveness makes us more like Christ. When we show mercy, grace, and unearned kindness, we reflect God’s character to the world. Forgiveness heals wounds, restores relationships, and promotes peace. It strengthens our faith and deepens our connection to the Father because forgiveness reveals His heart.
By choosing to forgive:
- We align ourselves with a divine standard of love and grace.
- We free ourselves from bitterness and the burden of resentment.
- We open the door for the Father’s blessings and opportunities for transformation in our lives.
We are never more like Christ than when we display mercy, grace, and forgiveness.
REFLECT & PRAY
Offenses are unavoidable in life. However, how we choose to respond makes all the difference. Reflect on the moments when you felt wronged or slighted. Were you quick to retaliate or seek revenge? Did your heart thirst for justice, or were you able to extend grace?
Father, You have always treated me with mercy and grace, even though I fall short of Your glory. Encourage and strengthen me to extend this same mercy and grace to others. Help me reflect Your love, even when it is difficult, and give me the courage to forgive as You have forgiven me.
INSIGHT
Saul’s Persecution of David
David, described as a man after God’s own heart, serves as an exceptional example of how to respond when wronged. His struggles with King Saul showcase his faith and courage. Following David’s victory over Goliath, the women of Israel sang praises in his honor, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7). This song stirred jealousy and fear in Saul, who saw David as a threat to his throne because God’s favor had shifted from him to David.
Driven by envy, Saul launched a relentless campaign to take David’s life. Armed with a formidable army of 3,000 men, Saul pursued David, forcing him to live as an outlaw, constantly on the move. Imagine the discouragement and fear David might have experienced. Despite the overwhelming danger, David chose faith in God over retaliation, trusting the Father for deliverance instead of taking matters into his own hands.
Do not Lay a Hand on the Lord’s Anointed
Saul unknowingly entered the very cave where David and his men were hiding (1 Samuel 24). Saul was a sitting duck. David was presented with a seemingly golden opportunity to end his suffering by killing Saul. Yet, David refrained. He chose not to lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed king. Instead of seeking revenge, David successfully navigated a difficult trial by putting his trust in God for his safety and future.
In a display of humility and grace, David confronted Saul and appealed to his conscience, entrusting the matter of vengeance to God’s hands (1 Samuel 24:2-15).
Trusting God with Our Conflicts
David’s story invites us to reflect on our own experiences. Sadly, Saul’s unforgiving spirit lurks within the hearts of all of us. It is incumbent upon us to trust the Father with our deepest struggles, particularly in times of conflict or adversity. Like David, placing our lives entirely in the Father’s hands initiates a profound spiritual exchange.
When we trust God:
- We surrender our rights to Him. We allow Him to steer our lives.
- He takes responsibility for our struggles.
- He works to shape our character, transforming our hearts from within.
- We allow Him to administer justice.
Refraining from Retaliation
When we choose to forgo revenge, we create space for God to intervene in our conflicts. Romans 12:19 captures this idea, stating, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.” Trusting in God’s justice frees us from bitterness and allows Him to vindicate us in His own time and in His own way.
David demonstrated this principle by allowing God to handle his conflict with Saul. He refused to sink to the level of jealousy and anger that plagued the king. Through his actions, David exemplified the divine standards of mercy, grace, and faith.
Mercy, Grace, and Forgiveness
The concepts of mercy and grace are foundational to forgiveness.
- Mercy is not receiving what we deserve.
- Grace is receiving what we do not deserve.
We cannot extend mercy and forgiveness to others unless we first experience God’s mercy and forgiveness ourselves. If we feel unforgiven, bitterness and an unforgiving spirit can easily take root. However, when we embrace the Father’s grace, we are empowered to offer that forgiveness to others.
In Ephesians 4:32, Paul writes, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you.” Forgiveness is not optional; it is a command. It reflects the very nature of God’s heart.
Consequences of Unforgiveness
At some point, each of us faces the challenge of unforgiveness. When we consciously decide to hold onto feelings of unforgiveness within our hearts, that decision transforms into a toxic, ugly presence. This lingering resentment can fester and grow, affecting our emotional well-being and relationships with others. It seeps into our thoughts, creating a heavy burden that weighs us down and distorts our perception of the world around us. Embracing such negativity not only harms us but can also create an atmosphere of tension and discord with those we interact with. It ultimately diminishes our capacity for joy and connection.
Unforgiveness goes beyond a temporary reluctance to forgive. Unforgiveness is the persistent refusal to forgive. As unforgiveness festers, it can lead to emotional, psychological, spiritual, and even physical struggles.
Charles Stanley describes unforgiveness as “a self-destructive, wrong choice.” Bitterness keeps us tied to our hurt and prevents us from experiencing true freedom.
Forgiveness is a Challenge
Forgiveness is not easy, but it is also an act of courage. When we choose to forgive, we reflect the heart of the Father to those around us. By entrusting our pain to Him and extending mercy and grace to others, we walk in obedience and invite the Father’s peace into our lives.
David’s life illustrates the importance of faith, restraint, and forgiveness. Even when wronged, he chose mercy and trust in God instead of seeking vengeance. His example challenges us to examine our own hearts and entrust our conflicts into God’s care.
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© Dr. H 2025
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