Rebellious Unforgiveness
Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32
Matthew 6:10-15
10 May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today the food we need,
12 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
13 And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.
14 If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
The Weight of Anger and Resentment
Countless individuals bear the weight of anger and resentment throughout their lives. These emotions often stem from emotional turmoil. If left unresolved, they can wreak havoc and lead to devastating collateral damage not only for the individual but also for those around them.
Clinging to feelings of anger and resentment perpetuates an unending cycle of suffering and pain. It is essential to confront and release these emotions in order to facilitate personal healing and growth. As Jeremy Sutton (PositivePsychology.com) eloquently states, “Despite the magnitude of suffering one may have endured, it is indeed possible to let go of this pain and extend forgiveness.”
Moreover, it is crucial to distinguish between pain and suffering. Shauna Shapiro writes, “Pain in life is inevitable. Suffering, however, is optional.” This highlights how much our responses to pain shape our experience. This insight shows how our reactions to pain significantly shape our life’s journey and overall well-being. By learning to manage our responses, we can transform our experiences, moving from a place of suffering to one of resilience and peace.
Defining Forgiveness and Unforgiveness
Forgiveness represents a profound act of letting go and freeing oneself from past burdens. It can be understood as the conscious choice to release feelings of resentment towards another person, relinquishing the urge to seek revenge regardless of the severity of their actions (Stanley). This powerful act of letting go is not about absolving someone of their misdeeds; rather, it serves as a means of liberating oneself from the shackles of bitterness and emotional turmoil.
On the other hand, unforgiveness is defined as a deliberate and resolute refusal to let go of feelings of resentment and anger. It involves the belief that the person who has wronged someone should face consequences, often based on a personal sense of justice (Stanley). This deep-seated refusal to forgive usually stems from the conviction that true justice can only be achieved on one’s own terms, ultimately binding the individual in a cycle of negativity and pain.
The Challenge of Forgiveness
This profound perspective urges us to shift our focus from seeking personal justice to trusting deeply in God’s justice and sovereignty. In this light, forgiveness becomes a powerful act of faith, enabling us to release our grievances and entrust our burdens to the capable hands of the Lord. In doing so, we open our hearts to healing and peace, understanding that the resolution of injustices depends not on us but on the wisdom of the Living God.
REFLECT & PRAY
Beyond its spiritual significance, forgiveness provides tangible benefits for both mental and physical health. Fred Luskin highlights, “Not only is forgiveness good for the soul, but it also has positive benefits on our mental and even physical well-being.” Letting go of resentment can lead to reduced stress, stronger relationships, and enhanced overall well-being.
“Father, You forgave me and forgive me daily. Help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me.”
INSIGHT
The Call to Forgiveness: A Command for the Children of the King
As children of the King, we receive the Father’s unlimited love and forgiveness. This divine gift isn’t meant to be hoarded but shared. We are called to “pay it forward” by extending forgiveness to others.
But how high has the Father set the bar for forgiveness? Ephesians 4:32 provides the answer: “Forgive just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
This command is no small task. The Father asks us to do what seems impossible in our human strength. Yet, as Mark 10:27 reminds us, “With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
The Qualities That Lead to Forgiveness
Paul, in his letter to the Colossians, outlines the values that enable forgiveness to flow from a transformed heart. Colossians 3:12-13 states: “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Paul’s list of qualities is remarkable, both in the ancient world and in our own. These attributes are the foundation from which forgiveness springs:
Tenderhearted Mercy (oiktirmos): This refers to a deep sensitivity to the needs and suffering of others, characterized by compassion and sympathy.
Kindness (chrestotes): More than simply being nice, kindness embodies a sweet disposition and thoughtfulness that prioritizes the well-being of others.
Humility (tapeinophrosune): This involves a profound self-awareness that combines a sense of lowliness without servility and an awareness of unworthiness without self-deprecation.
Gentleness/Meekness (praotes): Gentleness is strength under control, characterized by even-temperedness, self-restraint, and genuine meekness.
Patience (makrothumia): Patience is the ability to endure pain, unhappiness, and provocation with long-suffering and self-restraint.
These values are not just suggestions; they are essential for living as children of the King. Forgiveness is not optional; it is a command and a reflection of the Father’s love.
Joseph: A Model of Forgiveness
One of the most potent examples of forgiveness in the Scriptures is the story of Joseph. Despite experiencing jealousy, betrayal, and cruel, malicious schemes from his brothers, Joseph showed a remarkable and inspiring spirit of forgiveness. His response to their wrongdoing demonstrates a heart that is in harmony with the Father’s heart.
Genesis 50:15-21 recounts this critical moment: “But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. ‘Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,’ they said. But Joseph replied, ‘Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.’ So, he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.”
Joseph’s capacity to forgive stemmed from his comprehension of God’s control over all things. He realized that God transformed his brothers’ intentions to cause harm into a greater purpose. This viewpoint enabled him to let go of bitterness and extend grace.
The Consequences of Unforgiveness
Refusing to forgive has serious consequences. When we decide not to forgive, the hurt we experienced remains unhealed. This leads us to repeatedly experience pain and sorrow, allowing resentment and hatred to take hold. Over time, bitterness takes over, poisoning our hearts and minds. It begins to shape our lives, affecting our relationships, attitudes, and emotions.
Stanley offers hope, stating, “The good news is that this downward spiral can be stopped at any point along the way by choosing to forgive.” Forgiveness goes beyond being merely a spiritual practice; it is a liberating choice that breaks the chains of bitterness and restores peace.
Forgiveness: A Choice and a Command
Opening your heart to forgive can be incredibly difficult and may even seem overwhelming. However, for the children of the King, it is essential. Refusing to forgive is not a neutral action; it is a form of defiance and rebellion against the Father’s will.
There is no ambiguity here: forgiveness is a clear command.
While the standards for forgiveness set by the Father are exceptionally high, they are not impossible to achieve. With His strength, we can meet this challenge. As children of the King, we are called to reflect His love and grace by forgiving others as He has forgiven us. This act is not only a sign of obedience but also a testament to the transformative power of God’s love in our lives.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
© Dr. H 2025
Dr H Reflections 