Selfishness is in Our DNA ∙∙

Selfishness is in Our DNA ∙∙

God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. – Philippians 2:13

Philippians 2:1-4

 1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,

 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord, and of one mind.

 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.

Overcoming Selfishness: A Path to Transformation

Over the years, Alcoholics Anonymous has offered countless individuals comfort and a path to recovery. One member insightfully shared, “Selfishness, self-centeredness, that we think is the root of our troubles! Fear, self-delusion, self-pity, and self-seeking! My basic problem, as I see it now, was that I was full of SELF, full of Me, Me, Me, Me. How is everything going to affect me, how will I feel, what will I get, what will happen to me if X-Y-Z happens . . .. I am self-obsessed and deluded, and that is what I see as my alcoholism. This chronic self-centeredness. . .! It is still SELF that defeats me, and always will be.”

Selfishness, the inclination to be self-centered, is a common challenge. Consider a simple scenario: multiple roommates sharing a single bathroom. During the morning rush, who gets to use it first? Too often, the unspoken mindset is, “You’re welcome to go before me, right after I’m done.” This everyday example underscores how deeply ingrained self-prioritization can be.

A Call to Selflessness

Paul urges us to prioritize the well-being of others above our own. Yet, selfishness seems woven into the fabric of human nature. Many of us instinctively place our needs and desires ahead of others, often without even realizing it.

Is it possible to change this innate inclination? The answer is a resounding yes.

Change begins with recognizing the ultimate example of selflessness: the Lord Jesus Christ. We would not be children of the King if He had not put our needs before His own desires. In the Garden of Gethsemane, the Lord Jesus Christ revealed His deep anguish and reluctance to drink the cup of self-sacrifice. Yet, He willingly chose to submit to the Father’s will.

Luke 22:42: “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.”

As the good Shepherd, He laid down His life for His sheep, demonstrating the ultimate act of love.

John 10:11: “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”

Because of His love for us, we are empowered to love others in the same way. As Gordon Fee aptly stated, “Love begins when someone else’s needs are more important than mine.” Each time we choose to do what is right, even when it is inconvenient or uncomfortable, we take a small step away from selfishness.

The Father’s Role in Transformation

The Father not only motivates His children to change but also provides the power to do so. The Scriptures serve as a guide, offering both encouragement and examples of how to live selflessly.

Philippians 2:3-4:

“3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

The Father instills in us both the longing and the strength to do what pleases Him. When we genuinely understand this profound truth, we begin to align our actions with His wishes, releasing our self-focused desires and ambitions. While this journey may present numerous challenges, it is not beyond our reach. With determination and faith, we can do it, guided by His leadership and transformative insights. Though it may be tough, achieving this through His strength is entirely within our reach.

REFLECT & PRAY

The Scriptures are filled with stories of ordinary people achieving extraordinary things through the power of God. Diminishing and overcoming selfishness isn’t easy; it’s a remarkable transformation that reflects the Father’s work in our lives.

Father, I acknowledge that selfishness is ingrained in my DNA. However, You have instilled in me the desire to live differently. Lead me and transform me so that Your desires become my desires.

INSIGHT

Overcoming Selfishness: Following the Example of Christ

What is the most profound example given to us to overcome the inherent selfishness of human nature? It is the humility of the Lord Jesus Christ. He established the ultimate standard for transcending our natural tendency toward self-centeredness. By letting go of self-interest, He demonstrated how to live a selfless life. He emptied Himself of personal ambition, prioritized the needs of others, and willingly sacrificed His life for humanity.

The why is clear: we serve someone greater than ourselves. The method is simple yet challenging: we choose to serve others before we serve ourselves.

The Challenge of Selflessness

John F. Kennedy inspired a generation with his famous words: “We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept . . ..”

Overcoming the selfishness ingrained in our nature is challenging. However, it is a task that every child of the King can do. It requires intentionality, effort, and a commitment to follow Christ’s example.

Transitioning from Selfishness to Selflessness

How can we move away from selfishness and self-centeredness? The journey starts with a deliberate effort to focus on others’ needs and feelings. Psychologist Elinor Greenberg describes a six-step process that can assist in this transformation. Each step signifies a small yet significant improvement.

1. Admit the need for change
   The initial and often hardest step is recognizing that current behaviors aren’t effective. This demands humility and a readiness to change.
2. Identify a specific area for improvement
   Start with a problem that’s simple to identify and doesn’t need deep emotional empathy. This makes the process easier.
3. Choose a new behavior to practice
   Decide on a specific, positive behavior to replace the old one. Planning ahead is essential for success.
4. Practice the new behavior while inhibiting the old one
   Consistently implement the new behavior in real-life situations, deliberately resisting the urge to revert to old habits.
5. Persist until the new behavior becomes automatic
   Repetition and consistency are essential. Eventually, the new behavior will feel natural.
6. Introduce additional new behaviors
   After mastering the initial behavior, focus on adding another area to improve in order to keep growing.

This process, although gradual, can lead to significant transformation.

The First Step in Transformation

The first and most crucial step in this journey is choosing to be less selfish and striving to emulate the Lord Jesus Christ. When we choose to serve the Father with a willing and dedicated heart, we invite His transformative power into our lives. The Father nurtures within us the strength and desire to ensure our actions reflect His will.

2 Corinthians 4:1: “Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way, we never give up.”

Through His boundless mercy and divine guidance, we have the remarkable ability to rise above the selfish instincts inherent in our human nature. By embracing His teachings, we can cultivate lives that radiate the humility and selflessness exemplified by the Lord Jesus Christ, embodying a spirit of compassion and love that transforms our hearts and those around us.

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© Dr. H 2025