Depart from Me, for I Am a Sinful Man ∙
When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord. – Luke 5:8
Isaiah 6:1-8
“I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple. Attending him were mighty seraphim. They were calling out to each other, ‘Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of Heaven’s Armies! The whole earth is filled with his glory!’
Then I said, ‘It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the LORD of Heaven’s Armies.’ Then one of the seraphim flew to me. He touched my lips with it and said, ‘See, this coal has touched your lips. Now your guilt is removed, and your sins are forgiven.’
Then I heard the Lord asking, ‘Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?’ I said, ‘Here I am. Send me.’”
The Trance of Unworthiness: A Shadow Over Self-Worth
“Many of us are walking around in a ‘trance of unworthiness.’ It’s a gnawing feeling that we’re deeply flawed. It tells us we’re not worthy of love, happiness, success, or approval. And it follows us around like a shadow” (Gregg Vanourek). This pervasive sense of unworthiness is often rooted in fear or shame, a belief that we are fundamentally flawed, unacceptable, or “not enough.” As Tara Brach describes it, it’s the internalized message that “Who I am is not okay.”
Sources of Low Self-Worth
Research highlights several factors that contribute to feelings of unworthiness. These influences often stem from early life experiences and societal pressures, shaping how individuals perceive themselves:
- Critical or Disapproving Authority Figures: Parents or caregivers who were excessively critical or applied intense pressure to achievement..
- Uninvolved or Distant Caregivers: Emotional neglect or caregiver preoccupation that leaves children feeling unimportant.
- Sibling Comparisons: Frequent comparisons during childhood foster feelings of inferiority.
- Performance-Based Praise: Overemphasizing achievements instead of effort, leading to a fragile sense of self-worth.
- Conflict in the Home: Exposure to excessive conflict during formative years..
- Bullying or Ostracism: Childhood experiences of teasing or social exclusion, resulting in lasting insecurities..
- Overprotective Parenting: Shielding children from challenges, which leaves them unprepared for real-world difficulties..
- Academic Failures: Struggles in school that lead to feelings of inadequacy or stupidity.
- Societal pressures: Unrealistic standards of beauty, success, and happiness perpetuated by media and culture.
- Trauma and Abuse: Experiences of physical, emotional, or psychological harm that diminish self-worth. (Gregg Vanourek).
Signs of Unworthiness
- Feelings of unworthiness appear in different ways, often affecting behavior, thoughts, and emotional health. Common signs include:
- • Constant feelings of inadequacy or believing something is wrong with you.
- • An overactive inner critic, characterized by negative self-talk and doubt.
- • Staying busy and multitasking to avoid inner discomfort.
- • Focusing on achievement, success, or status to prove worth.
- • Avoiding vulnerability and hesitating to share personal struggles.
- • Ongoing shame and feeling unworthy of love or belonging.
- • Continually striving for self-improvement out of feeling not good enough.
- • Harshly criticizing yourself for past mistakes.
- • Struggling to accept compliments or positive feedback.
- • Fear of risk or failure, causing overly cautious actions.
- • Hesitation to ask for help or share personal needs.
- • People-pleasing, often sacrificing personal well-being.
- • Self-hatred or intense self-loathing (Gregg Vanourek).
Peter’s Encounter with Holiness: A Different Perspective
Peter’s reaction to the miraculous catch of fish was not rooted in a “trance of unworthiness.” Instead, it reflected a common response seen in the Scriptures to experiencing the holiness and majesty of the living God. Peter’s sinfulness and inadequacy were exposed, leading him to fall to his knees in humility and awe.
Luke 5:8: “When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, ‘Oh, Lord, please leave me, I’m too much of a sinner to be around you.’”
This moment was not about shame or self-loathing but about recognizing the vast gap between human imperfection and divine holiness. Peter’s response parallels Isaiah’s reaction when he encountered God’s majesty. Isaiah 6:5: “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”
Such encounters reveal the transformative power of God’s presence, exposing sin while also offering redemption and restoration.
Like Isaiah, Peter was overwhelmed by God’s wonder and majesty. His response reflects deep humility and reverence, not unworthiness in a human sense but a recognition of God’s infinite worthiness. His cry, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord,” shows a deep conviction, recognizing his unworthiness to stand before the living God.
REFLECT & PRAY
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on” (Maxwell Maltz).
Father, thank You for catching me with Your kindness. Thank You for calling me to serve You with my whole heart. Strengthen and embolden me to do so.
INSIGHT
The Paradox of Unworthiness
Peter’s confession of sinfulness was not a disqualification for service but the very foundation of it. His humility and acknowledgment of his inadequacy prepared him to depend fully on God.
As Constable explains, “Admitting one’s inability and sin is the best prerequisite for service, since then one can depend on God. Peter’s confession becomes his résumé for service. Humility is the elevator to spiritual greatness.”
The Father’s ways are unlike human ways. God doesn’t call the prepared. He prepares the called. Peter was called to serve!
Jesus did not reject because he confessed sinfulness. Instead, He drew Peter closer, transforming him from a fisherman into a fisher of men. This moment marked the beginning of Peter’s journey as a disciple, leaving behind his old life to follow Jesus.
The Call to Fish for People
Peter’s calling was not merely to abandon his nets but to embrace a new assignment. As James R. Edwards explains, “The call of Peter demonstrates what ‘fishing for people’ means: Jesus has ‘caught’ Peter by a miracle of grace, and he commissions Peter to ‘catch’ people likewise.”
In Mark 1:17, Jesus said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” When the boats reached the shore, Peter and his companions left everything to follow Jesus.
Leaving everything behind was not merely a physical departure from their old lives but also a spiritual commitment to a new purpose. Peter’s change from a fisherman to a fisher of men shows the power of God’s grace to redeem and repurpose even the most unlikely people for His honor.
Grace and Mercy – the Foundation for Service
Understanding unworthiness is not an obstacle to serving God but the foundation for it. God’s grace and mercy are amplified when He employs imperfect people to fulfill His plans.
As Paul writes in 1 Timothy 1:15-17: “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners’ – and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. All honor and glory to God forever and ever!”
Paul’s testimony echoes Peter’s experience. Both men acknowledged their unworthiness but were transformed by God’s grace. Their lives serve as powerful examples of God’s patience, mercy, and power to redeem.
From Unworthiness to Service
Peter’s encounter with Christ reveals a profound truth: our unworthiness does not disqualify us from God’s service. Instead, it is through humility and reliance on His grace that we are prepared to answer His call. God’s strength is perfected in our weakness. Through His grace, He transforms sinners into servants, calling them to leave their old lives behind and follow Him into a mission of eternal significance.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯1-20-3
© Dr. H 2025
Dr H Reflections 