How Much Do We Love God?

How Much Do We Love God?

We love him because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

1 John 4:16-19:

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is out of fear of punishment, which shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love him because he loved us first.

Love as Action, Not Emotion

What constitutes true love? For many, love is often perceived simply as an emotion, which, sadly, is frequently transient and influenced by external circumstances. However, the essence of true love goes beyond mere emotion. It is an active choice requiring continual effort, steadfastness, and intention. As Dr. Lisa Firestone explains, “Love is dynamic and requires action to thrive.”

Authentic love is demonstrated through our actions. By choosing to act with compassion, respect, tenderness, and patience, we bring our love to life. While we can control our own choices, we cannot dictate how others feel; therefore, love must be mutual. A genuine relationship thrives on this shared connection, rooted in authenticity rather than illusion.

The Danger of a Fantasy Bond

Dr. Lisa Firestone describes a “fantasy bond” as “an illusion of connection and closeness.” People can sometimes fool themselves into thinking they’re in love, even when they are emotionally distant. In these cases, surface-level aspects take over the relationship, masking the lack of genuine intimacy. This false sense of affection is hollow and fails to create a real connection. The deeper qualities of love, such as vulnerability, honesty, and shared growth, are missing.

Such illusions sometimes extend into our spiritual life. Many people imagine closeness with God but have not cultivated an authentic relationship grounded in genuine love and trust. This spiritual “fantasy bond” replaces engagement with routine, diminishing the transformative power of divine love.

How Does God Draw Us to Himself?

The Father never compels us through fear or coercion. His invitation rests on unwavering, unconditional love, offered freely without expectation of repayment. Such love is not tentative or transactional. We do not initiate our love for Him; it is a heartfelt response to the love He has already offered.

The apostle John writes in 1 John 4:10: “This is real love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”

The Father’s love is not static; it is living, dynamic, vibrant, and deeply personal. His ultimate act of love, sacrificing His Son, demonstrates an affection that transcends human understanding. He cherishes each of His children deeply and is passionately in love with us. Recognizing this truth can profoundly transform our hearts and minds.

REFLECT & PRAY

Understanding that we are loved is one thing, but truly experiencing that love is another matter entirely. When we have a heartfelt encounter with the Father’s love, it moves us and inspires us to respond with love in return. As Marshall notes, “The more we realize and experience how much God loves us, the more we are motivated to love Him in return.”

Father, thank You for choosing to love me. Encourage me to fall in love with You more deeply each day. Help me demonstrate my love for You and for others through my words and actions.

INSIGHT

Love Without Fear

Pursuing a romantic relationship often evokes fear and hesitation, mainly because we fear our feelings might not be mutual. The threat of rejection can feel overwhelming. In contrast, our relationship with God is fundamentally different. His love for us comes first. When we reach out to Him, it’s always a response to the love He has already shown us. His gentle, kind, and steadfast faithfulness eases our fears and fills us with a comforting sense of assurance.

When we experience the warm embrace of the Father’s love, concerns about our worth and sense of belonging dissipate. Recognizing ourselves as His beloved children frees us from the fears of judgment and abandonment. His unmatched love fosters a deep sense of confidence, allowing our hearts to experience genuine peace.

1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”

By trusting in His steadfast love and understanding our adoption into His Forever Family, a warm, soothing peace flows into our hearts and minds. With our fears about eternal destiny put to rest, we are free to enjoy His comforting presence. We break free from the chilling grip of fear that may have ensnared our hearts and souls.

Perfect Love and Maturity

The term “perfect” in 1 John 4:18 comes from the Greek teleios, meaning “complete” or “mature” rather than “flawless.” Spiritual maturity unfolds as believers grow in their understanding of God’s steadfast love.

Fear and love cannot coexist. They are fundamentally incompatible. Fear distances us from God, while love draws us closer in confidence. God’s perfect love, not our own, banishes fear and replaces it with assurance. To live in fear is to misunderstand God’s heart.

The Depth of God’s Love

But there is even more to this love. 1 John 4:8-10 declares: “God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”

Take a moment to contemplate this profound truth: “God loves me!”  “The King of the universe loves me!” The Father not only knows us but also cherishes us deeply. He holds us in His heart and mind, constantly thinking of us and showering us with care. Charles Spurgeon marveled at this truth: that the Infinite, perfect and holy, chooses to love imperfect humanity. Such love surpasses every human bond and redefines what it means to belong.

What Fear Reveals

Fearing the Father reveals a lot about ourselves. It speaks volumes about our misunderstanding and lack of assurance in God’s love. As 1 John 4:18 reminds us, fear suggests we have not yet grasped how deeply the Father loves us. The Message translation captures this idea as “not fully convinced that he really loves us.”

Doubting his affection leads us to experience anxiety instead of peace. Yet, when we embrace and internalize the Father’s steadfast love, our fears dissipate, making way for faith and serenity. This divine love liberates us, freeing us from guilt, insecurity, and self-condemnation.

Love That Transforms

God’s love is not theoretical or sentimental; it is living and active. It is not a “fantasy bond.” It shatters illusions, heals brokenness, and casts out fear. When we accept His love as truth, it reshapes our hearts and motivates us to reflect that love in return.

The question, then, is not whether God loves us; He has already proven that through the cross, but whether we will allow His perfect love to transform our lives from the inside out.

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© Dr. H 2026