Spiritual Heartache ∙∙

Spiritual Heartache ∙∙

Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire shut up in my bones; and I am weary of holding it in, and I cannot endure it. – Jeremiah 20:9

Jeremiah 15:16-20

Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts.

Therefore, thus says the LORD, “If you return, then I will restore you – before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become My spokesman. They, for their part, may turn to you, but as for you, you must not turn to them.”

“Then I will make you to this people a fortified wall of bronze; and though they fight against you, they will not prevail over you; for I am with you to save you and deliver you,” declares the LORD.

Amanda Smith: A Journey from Slavery to Spiritual Freedom

Amanda Smith was born into slavery in Maryland, and although she gained her freedom by the age of three, the shackles of spiritual bondage remained. Deep within, Amanda yearned for a profound connection with God, yet her path to salvation was fraught with fear and uncertainty. She believed that going to the altar at the front of the church could provide the peace she desperately sought. However, her fear of potential embarrassment held her back. The internal turmoil grew unbearable, prompting her to finally approach the altar and pray for salvation. Sadly, she departed feeling just as desolate as before.

A Desperate Prayer

Amanda found herself at a crossroads in her spiritual journey, on the verge of abandoning her quest for God. Yet, a faint voice urged her to “pray again.” Resolute, she declared, “I will pray one more time, and if salvation exists, I will find it this afternoon or die trying.” On Tuesday, March 17, 1856, Amanda went down to the cellar to pray, fully aware that her family might discover her lifeless body. She had engaged in prayer many times before, yet had never felt the assurance of God’s acceptance. Reflecting on her life, she recalled, “I cannot remember a time from my earliest childhood when I did not yearn to be a Christian, often praying alone.”

Despite her persistent efforts, her prayers seemed futile, leaving her spirit shrouded in darkness and turmoil. Finally, in a moment of desperation, fearing that her promise to find salvation or die would lead to divine retribution, she cried out, “O Lord, if You will help me, I will believe in You.” In that moment, the act of telling God that she would believe – she did believe! The Father was there in the cellar; she was no longer alone. She remarked, “O, the peace and joy that flooded my soul!”

Freedom in Christ

From that day onward, Amanda was freed from spiritual bondage. Her life experienced a profound transformation as she developed a deep desire to understand God and to share the reality of His presence with others. Her journey highlights the transformative power of faith and the deep peace that comes from a personal relationship with the Father.

Spiritual Hunger: A Common Thread

Amanda’s longing for God mirrors the experiences of many who ache for Him before they come to know Him. For Amanda, the peace and joy that come with salvation had been only dreamy wisps of imagination and longing. They were suddenly and unequivocally transformed into profound realities the moment she met Him. Her life was forever changed.

Spiritual longing often shows up as deep hunger and heartache. For figures like Jeremiah and David, this intense desire for God became the central driving force of their lives as they walked with Him.

REFLECT & PRAY

Stanley writes, “God’s highest priority for our lives is to develop an intimate and growing relationship with Him. He made us thirst for Him as we thirst for water and to seek Him as we seek relief from a parched throat.”

Father, I long to have the heart of David and the fervor of Jeremiah for You and Your Word. Please kindle within me an unwavering passion that burns brightly and never ceases.

INSIGHT

David: A Heart That Longed for God

David, the king of Israel, exemplified an intense and unwavering love for the Father. His heart yearned for God with a hunger as profound as the thirst of a parched soul. This deep longing is beautifully captured in Psalm 42:1-3: “As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’”

David’s relationship with God was not merely a matter of duty or tradition; it was a consuming desire, a thirst for the living God that defined his life and reign. His psalms reflect this profound connection, revealing a heart that found its ultimate satisfaction in the presence of the Father.

Jeremiah: A Prophet’s Fiery Passion

Jeremiah, called to be a prophet during one of the most perilous times in Judah’s history, faced a daunting mission. The judgment of God was imminent. The Babylonians would soon conquer Judah, destroy Jerusalem, and lay waste to the temple. Despite the gravity of his message, the people of Judah were rebellious and defiant, refusing to heed Jeremiah’s warnings. Their rejection of his words and their mistreatment of him left Jeremiah deeply discouraged, to the point where he wanted to abandon his calling. He even contemplated ceasing to speak God’s name altogether.

However, the Father would not allow Jeremiah to remain silent. The more Jeremiah tried to suppress the message, the more the passionate fire for God and His word burned within him. As Jeremiah described in Jeremiah 20:9: “But if I say I’ll never mention the LORD or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones! I am weary of holding it in, and I cannot.”

Supernatural Empowerment and Protection

Instead of allowing Jeremiah to succumb to despair, the Father supernaturally empowered him to continue proclaiming the message. Despite facing significant opposition and hostility, Jeremiah was assured of divine protection. The Lord surrounded him with an impenetrable defense, akin to a fortified wall of bronze. This promise is powerfully articulated in Jeremiah 15:19-21:

“Therefore, thus says the LORD, ‘If you return, then I will restore you, before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become My spokesman.

They, for their part, may turn to you, but as for you, you must not turn to them.

They will fight against you like an attacking army, but I will make you as secure as a fortified wall of bronze. They will not conquer you, for I am with you to protect and rescue you.

I, the LORD, have spoken! Yes, I will certainly keep you safe from these wicked men. I will rescue you from their cruel hands.’”

This divine assurance empowered Jeremiah to endure relentless adversity. His faithfulness to his calling serves as a powerful example of obedience and trust in the Father’s plan.

A Model of Faithful Obedience

Jeremiah’s life exemplifies how the children of the King should respond to their Father’s exhortation. When he faced discouragement and opposition, Jeremiah chose not to succumb and retreat into disobedience or despair. Instead, he repented and willingly embraced the Father’s will and purpose for his life. His faithfulness in the face of overwhelming opposition and adversity showcases his profound commitment to God.

The Father’s instructions to Jeremiah were clear and straightforward. He was tasked with distinguishing the valuable from the worthless while continuing to deliver the divine message. This task demanded discernment, courage, and unwavering dedication, qualities that all children of the King are encouraged to emulate.

A Choice for All Children of the King

Each child of the King faces a choice: to remain faithful to their calling or to retreat in the face of challenges. Like Jeremiah, we are called to discern what is precious, reject what is worthless, and boldly proclaim the truth of the Father’s word.

Whether in the initial ache for salvation, the longing for intimacy, or the fire to proclaim His word, their lives reflect the transforming power of a relationship with God.

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© Dr. H 2026