Masters or Disasters ∙∙

Masters or Disasters ∙∙

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32

1 Peter 3:8-12

 8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.

 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

 10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”

 11 “Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.”

 12 “The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”

During the 1970s, American marriages faced a significant crisis. They were deteriorating into dysfunctional bitterness, ending in separation or divorce at unprecedented levels. This prompted social scientists to begin an in-depth study of marriage. Among them was John Gottman, who has been conducting research for over forty years.

In 1986, alongside his colleague Robert Levenson, Gottman established the “Love Lab” at the University of Washington. They engaged newlywed couples, observing their interactions while measuring physiological responses like heart rate, blood flow, and perspiration, which were indicative of psychological activity. Six years later, they checked back to see which couples remained together, classifying them into two groups: Masters and Disasters.

The Disasters were in constant fight-or-flight mode. They were aggressive and prepared to attack and be attacked.

Conversely, the Masters appeared calm and connected, displaying warmth and affection even amidst disagreements. What made the difference? The Masters had created a climate of trust and intimacy that made them more emotionally and physically comfortable.

Investigating further, Gottman noticed couples made “bids” for connection, seeking signs of interest or support from each other. Once a bid was made, partners responded to these bids by either turning toward or away. Statistically, Disasters turned toward bids only 33% of the time, while Masters turned toward 87% of the time, fulfilling their partners’ needs almost 90% of the time.

Qualitatively, the success of a marriage depends on what partners bring to the relationship, whether it’s kindness and generosity or contempt and hostility (https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/).

In 21st-century America, the challenges of marriage persist, with many facing divorce, separation, or enduring discord under the same roof.

Spiritually, the solution to this human struggle mirrors the answer to the eternal issues of sin and separation from God. He designed a way to resurrect those spiritually dead and offer eternal life. He bonded with us, the children of the King, and established eternal intimacy, affection, and love. Placed at His right hand through Christ Jesus, we are eternally turned toward Him, with redemption and transformation already underway that will never end.

Ephesians 2:1-7

 1 Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins.

 2 You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil – the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.

 3 All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else.

 4 But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much,

 5 that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)

 6 For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.

 7 So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus

REFLECT & PRAY

Master or Disaster, choose wisely.

Haggai 2:19 From this day on, I will bless you.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your lives.

Father, coach me in the skill of practicing trust, closeness, and intimacy with You and my essential partner on planet Earth.

INSIGHT

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him.”

The Father designed and created Adam and Eve to be partners who complement each other. The Hebrew word translated as “companion,” “helper,” or “help meet” (KJV)is ‘ezer, which describes an “indispensable companion.” Individually, man and woman were only partially complete without each other. They were compliments. Each lacked something to be whole. “The plain fact is that Adam needed Eve” (Wiersbe). The woman was designed to provide what the man lacked, and logically, the man would offer what she needed, even if not explicitly stated (ESV notes).

They were both made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). They were, at the same time, distinct yet equal. She was no less than Adam. She was essential for his completeness. “She was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved” (Matthew Henry).

Being a helper is not degrading. In fact, the Father often referred to Himself as a “helper” (‘ezer) to the children of the King. As our helper, He does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He meets our needs, doing what we cannot do alone.

Being a helper is not an inferior or demeaning position. The Father often referred to Himself as a “helper” (‘ezer) to the children of the King. As our helper, He does for us what we cannot do for ourselves and meets our needs.

Paul urges us, as the children of the King, to return to the Father’s original purpose and design for marriage, which is rooted in kindness, forgiveness, and tenderheartedness.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

The Greek word for “kindness” is chrestos, which stems from the verb chraomai, meaning to furnish what is needed, beneficial, and suitable for any purpose. A thriving marriage involves each partner supplying what is essential for the other’s well-being. Kindness implies being gently pleasant, soft, and mild, avoiding harshness, inflexibility, or severity.

Choosing to live with abundant kindness in marriage is a decision every child of the King can make and reinforce continually.

This is the art in which marriage Masters excel. It is accessible to anyone. Exercising abundant kindness is all about choice, determination, and practice. As we develop this skill, we showcase the Father’s boundless grace to the world, both now and forever (Ephesians 2:7).

Determine to turn toward, not away.

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© Dr. H 2024

Furever families ∙

Furever families ∙

David, the servant of the LORD. He sang this song to the LORD on the day the LORD rescued him from all his enemies and Saul. He sang: I love you, LORD; you are my strength. – Psalms 18:1

Psalms 18:2-6

 2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.

 3 I called on the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies.

 4 The ropes of death entangled me; floods of destruction swept over me.

 5 The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path.

 6 But in my distress, I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.

Abandoned, neglected, or mistreated dogs often become strays, ending up lost and bewildered. Regrettably, many of them suffer and perish. However, organizations like Rescue Me, RescueShelter.com, and the Animal Rescue Network offer hope for these animals.

In 2003, Jeff Gold, a resident of Watkinsville, Georgia, established Boxertown to help find homes for boxer dogs in need. Following the success of Boxertown, Gold created Rescue Me, a network that aids in placing all types of dogs, cats, and other animals into loving homes.

One of the free services provided by Rescue Me is RescueShelter.com, a free resource that offers the most comprehensive directory of animal rescue organizations worldwide. The guide includes information on wildlife rehabilitators in more than 150 countries.

These organizations serve as a beacon of hope and a lifeline for strays or abandoned pets. They rescue and rehabilitate and share online the pictures and stories of the animals they help. People respond from near and far, becoming foster families and providing critical assistance to these needy animals.

Through these organizations and the kindness and compassion of ordinary people, many abandoned, neglected, or mistreated dogs are adopted into new furever families where they are welcomed and loved. Their lives are transformed from a destiny of dismal darkness to a brighter future in a loving home.

David found himself in a dire and challenging place. He was like an abandoned stray surrounded by enemies and hunted by those seeking his death. He was frightened and cried out for help. “Death had had him in its grip as rope binds a prisoner. The forces of ungodliness terrified David as when one finds himself in a wadi (dry stream bed) during a spring thunderstorm and discovers a wall of water coming at him. He pictured himself trying to pick his steps through a field full of traps that hunters had set to snare animals.”

“David cried out in terror, and in His heavenly temple, God heard his call for help. He came rushing to [David’s] defense. His deliverance was like a thunderstorm in that it was the supernatural invading nature. The figures of speech in verses Psalms 8:7-15 picture a violent storm with lightning, thunder, high winds, torrential rains, black skies, and flooding” (Constable).

In response to David’s pleas, the Father spectacularly intervened in the space-time continuum and rescued David.

REFLECT & PRAY

When things go bad, finger-pointing, blaming, and confrontation often begin. In this life, conflict is inevitable. Even in those dark days, we can count on the Father for His support. He has bound Himself to us forever (Stanley).

Father, thank You for hearing and responding to my prayers and intervening on my behalf. Thank You for adopting me into Your Forever Family.

INSIGHT

Furthermore, Psalms 18 is recognized as a messianic Psalm. Inspired by the Holy Spirit, David foretold the coming of the Messiah. The Father seamlessly integrated future predictions about His Son within the Psalms and other Old Testament texts, blending them with the authentic experiences and histories of the individuals involved or who wrote about them in the Old Testament.

Psalms 18:20-31

 20 The LORD rewarded me for doing right; he restored me because of my innocence.

 21 For I have kept the ways of the LORD; I have not turned from my God to follow evil.

 22 I have followed all his regulations; I have never abandoned his decrees.

 23 I am blameless before God; I have kept myself from sin.

 24 The LORD rewarded me for doing right. He has seen my innocence.

 25 To the faithful, you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity, you show integrity.

 26 To the pure, you show yourself pure, but to the wicked, you show yourself hostile.

 27 You rescue the humble, but you humiliate the proud.

 28 You light a lamp for me. The LORD, my God, lights up my darkness.

 29 In your strength, I can crush an army; with my God, I can scale any wall.

 30 God’s way is perfect. All the LORD’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

 31 For who is God except the LORD? Who but our God is a solid rock?

Psalms 18:20-30 reveals “the rationale or mystique of the Resurrection” (BBC). The Lord Jesus Christ was totally innocent and lived a sinless life. All that He said and did reveals the integrity and righteousness of His character, words, and actions. His righteous life qualified Him to be the Savior of the world.

Isaiah 53:10 But it was the LORD’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD’s good plan will prosper in his hands.

The Lord Jesus Christ lived a sinless and spotless life. He demonstrated an unwavering devotion to the will of the Father and His commitment to His crucifixion and death on the cross. This was necessary for Him to die for the sins of the world and become eligible to be resurrected.

Romans 6:4 Just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.

The Lord Jesus Christ was raised from the dead by the power of the Father’s glory. When we talk about the Father’s glory, we are referring to His magnificent splendor, power, grandeur, majesty, and unlimited authority. Glory is a power word. It describes the power of God gloriously exercised. The phrase “through the glory of God” indicates that the Father used His power to raise the Lord Jesus Christ (Toews).

Paul’s statement regarding the glory of the Father summarizes the dramatic work of the Father using His unlimited power and authority to raise Jesus (Toews).

The remarkable relationship between resurrection power and glory is vividly depicted in the incredible story of Lazarus!

John 11:40 Jesus responded, Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?

Resurrection from the dead reveals the unlimited power and glory of the invisible God.

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© Dr. H 2024

Muddled ∙∙

Muddled ∙∙

Your ears will hear him. Right behind you, a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left. – Isaiah 30:21

Joshua 1:6-9

 6 Be strong and courageous . . ..

 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then, you will be successful in everything you do.

 8 Study this Book of the Law continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.

 9 This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Alice came to a crossroads, a fork in the road, and asked, “Which road do I take?” she asked.

“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire Cat.

“I don’t know,” Alice answered.

“Then, it doesn’t matter.” said the Cheshire Cat (Lewis Carroll, Thru the Looking Glass).

For the children of the King, forks in the road are all about our crucial life decisions. They begin with recognizing meaningful opportunities and not retreating in fear or doubt. Instead, we should seek wisdom from the Father.

Life revolves around choices. Gaining wisdom involves learning to make decisions for the right reasons. Wise choices stem from the heart and your developing relationship with the Father. They require a clear understanding of where you intend to go and, ultimately, where the Father wants you to be.

Motivation is key. Two people can pursue the same objective but for entirely different reasons. The film “Chariots of Fire” illustrates this well. It tells the story of Harold Abrahams and Eric Liddell, both athletes preparing for the 1924 Olympics. Despite being on the same team, they differ significantly. Abrahams competes to prove something, driven by insecurity. For him, winning is all important. It’s all about him.

Liddell, however, competes to win as well, but he feels the Father’s pleasure when he runs. The Father’s strength and presence uplift him to victory. He is not in bondage to himself but is inspired to live for the Father’s honor and glory: two men, two different motives, two distinct inner lives. Eric Liddell competes energized and empowered by the Holy Spirit, while Harold Abrahams relies on personal ambition and sheer adrenaline. This contrast highlights the difference between the divine strength of mature spirituality and the earthly power of self-driven ambition.

The world is a dark place, but Jesus is the light of the world.

John 8:12 Jesus said, I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness but will have the Light of life.

John 12:35 So Jesus said to them, for a little while longer, the Light is among you. Walk in the light while you can . . .. Those who walk in the darkness cannot see where they are going.

REFLECT & PRAY

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it” (Yogi Berra). When it is time to make crucial decisions, make them!

Father, grant me the wisdom to understand the significance of my choices and the courage to rely on Your guidance for making the best ones.

INSIGHT

The Father doesn’t play “hide and seek” to obscure His presence or plans and make it difficult to find Him and His will. He promises us His guidance and clarity if we truly desire to follow His will. However, there is one gotcha. While the Father may be transmitting loud and clear, we may have our receiver turned off. And we are simply not listening.

Yet, one of the realities of the Christian walk is that there are moments when God seems hidden, as if a barrier stands between us. The Father in heaven appears to separate Himself from us and erect a thick, impenetrable barrier. But these times DO NOT LAST. Once the barrier is lifted, we experience the delightful joy of experiencing closeness and intimacy with Him.

The Father communicates with us in many ways. Ironically, when the King’s children cannot see, He opens their ears. What cannot be seen can be heard. His voice becomes perceptible, and He tells them which way to go.

A simple whisper, once heard, trusted, and followed, changes the trajectory of our lives.

The Father offers a profound and intimate relationship with Him, both now and in eternity. What could be more wonderful and fulfilling than experiencing His presence and closeness?

Spiritual maturity requires being adaptable and open to whatever guidance the Father provides. Our faith deepens when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to hard truths that test us profoundly and challenge us to the core. The Father calls all His children to strive for greater growth, as mediocrity, remaining inactive, and stagnation are not part of His plan.

He envisioned our journey of faith as an exciting, thrilling adventure fueled by our love for Him. Obedience is about discovery rather than merely a means to avoid negative outcomes.

Unfortunately, the children of the King often view obedience as a way to sidestep the repercussions of disobedience, perceiving it as a burden rather than a broad and inviting path to maturity and fulfillment. Asking the right questions is vital.

Such questions are: Father, what would you have me do? Father, what would you have me learn from these circumstances? Father, which path is best for me now?

Proverbs 3:5-7

 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

 7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.

Trust often suggests a potential threat or evil ahead. To trust in the LORD with all your heart signifies a complete surrender of oneself. This admonition “is the theological foundation upon which all the proverbs rest” (Bland).

When the sage advises the reader to acknowledge Him (Proverbs 3:6), it refers to an attitude; the child of the King desires to fulfill the Father’s will. By fully trusting in Him, the assurance is that He will direct and make straight your paths. This doesn’t guarantee a life free from challenges but instead provides a life with clear direction and purpose (Bland).

Abraham embarked on his journey without knowing the destination, confident that God would guide him. In essence, God promised to straighten his paths.

Do not be wise in your own eyes (Proverbs 3:7). This phrase appears frequently in Proverbs and is used to depict the fool who is “wise in his own eyes” (see Proverbs 26:5, 12, 16).

Those who consider themselves wise are often led by arrogance, relying on their intellect to navigate life (see Jeremiah 9:23-24). This mindset contrasts with “fearing the LORD.” “ To be wise in one’s own eyes is a demonstration of pride. To fear the LORD demonstrates humility” (Bland).

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© Dr. H 2024