This hurts me more than . . . ∙
For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. – Proverbs 3:12
Lamentations 3:31-33
31 For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
33 For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.
Many of us know the phrase, “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Parents often utter this statement when administering discipline, such as spanking. However, the validity of this statement from the perspective of the child receiving the discipline is highly doubtful.
The expression, intended to convey a parent’s regret over having to discipline their child, rings a bit hollow. Pain is pain. Pain, whether physical or emotional, is experienced deeply by the child. The physical discomfort of discipline is not painless. On top of that, there is often emotional hurt, which may equal or exceed the physical pain. While the sentiment of the parent is understandable, is it accurate? If the parent were to exchange places with the child, would they agree? Tragically, some parents are simply angry and vindictive and take it out of their kids. How tragic!
When necessary, discipline should always be enveloped in love, reassurance, and comfort to ensure the child understands the context and feels supported throughout the process.
In 1962, the United States discovered, via aerial surveillance, that the Soviet Union was installing missiles capable of striking the US in Cuba. This precipitated the “Cuban Missile Crisis.” President John F. Kennedy announced that he was placing a naval blockade around Cuba to prevent the delivery of any more weapons. A maritime blockade is normally considered an act of war.
During the tense moments of the Cuban Missile Crisis, Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev issued a stark warning that any attempt to intercept Russian ships could lead to war. This period is vividly remembered by many Americans who lived through it as a time of heightened anxiety, with people stocking up on groceries in anticipation of possible conflict.
Ultimately, Khrushchev relented and agreed to dismantle the missile installations in Cuba. A memorable cartoon by Edmund Valtman, published on October 30, 1962, humorously portrayed Khrushchev as a dentist ready to remove missiles, depicted as teeth, from Cuban leader Fidel Castro’s mouth, capturing the relief and absurdity of the moment.
On a more personal and spiritual note, I recognize that trials and tribulations are inherent to life, especially from the perspective of being a child of the King. It is through discipline that the Father molds our character, teaching us patience, fostering a spirit of humility, and nurturing a deeper bond with Him.
However, amidst personal struggles, it is natural and normal to ponder the omnipotence of my heavenly Father, knowing He has the power to stop my suffering at any moment. This leads me to question why He chooses not to intervene immediately. The children of Israel posed this question some 2600 years ago, to which the Father provided an answer.
Ezekiel 18:25 You say, “The Lord isn’t doing what’s right!” Listen to me, O people of Israel. Am I the one not doing what’s right, or is it you?
Every now and then, I wonder if the Father is perhaps more like a marine drill sergeant or inflexible judge rather than a loving, gracious, understanding father. Sometimes, I imagine myself as a nail, and He is the hammer.
It is natural to have these doubts and feelings, but such feelings are totally incorrect and based not on the truth of His Word but on earthly, natural, and demonic wisdom (James 3:15).
The Father takes no pleasure in the death of anyone who dies (Ezekiel 18:32), not to mention suffering.
The Father may allow us to go through tough times, but He does all this to do us “good in the end.” We may not see that good right away, but if we trust Him, He will bless us in His time (Stanley). Enduring difficult times develops obedience and character.
Hebrews 5:8 Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered.
It is way too common for the children of the King to become frustrated and even angry when the Father disciplines them.
REFLECT & PRAY
So often, we ask why. But if we really knew why, would it make any difference? Would anything change? Would it make our circumstances any better? During our difficulties, it seems like they will last forever, but in fact, they are only transitory. Paul calls them “momentary light afflictions” (2 Corinthians 4:17).
Father I recognize that it is so easy for me to doubt You and even think the worst of You. Help me to remember that You are indeed my father, and I am Your beloved child. And to remember that it grieves Your heart when You see me struggle.
INSIGHT
“A Greek boy was expected to ‘work out’ in the gymnasium until he reached his maturity. It was a part of his preparation for adult life. The writer [of the book of Hebrews] viewed the trials of the Christian life as a spiritual discipline that could help a believer mature. Instead of trying to escape the difficulties of life, we should rather be ‘exercised’ by them so that we might grow (Hebrews 12:11)” (Wiersbe).
Hebrews 12:6, 10-11
6 For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.
10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.
11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening – it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
The Greek word for discipline is paideuo, which means to child-train. Paideuo originally meant to bring up a child or to educate. It was used as an activity directed toward moral and spiritual nurture. Its goal was to train the child and thus influence his conscious will and action. From a spiritual perspective, it involved guiding and correcting the children of the King to align with biblical truth. The English word pediatrics comes from this Greek word. Pediatrics is the medical specialty dedicated to the health and care of children.
Punishment and discipline are not the same. Punishment looks back and attempts to administer appropriate penalties or consequences for what has occurred. But discipline looks forward. Discipline is child-training. Godly parents provide their children with discipline in love. Sadly, many children of the King lacked one or even both parents who performed biblically-based parenting. Regardless, we are to persevere when we are child-trained.
Hebrews 12:5 He said, My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline and don’t give up when he corrects you.
Child training is intended to humble us. It often brings us to the end of ourselves. It is preparing us for the future and the dream that the Father has for us. Discipline is a part of His loving care for us.
Does discipline “hurt” the Father more than it hurts us?
The Father sent His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, into the world to die on the cross. He had to watch the horror of it all. Was it not horrific when the Lord Jesus Christ bore the weight and punishment of all the sins of the human race? As mere humans, we will never fully comprehend the pain and suffering that both Father and Son went through.
Suffering is not pleasant or easy, but it is part of life in our fallen world. The Father led the Lord Jesus Christ through suffering, and He does the same for every child of the King. The Father’s discipline demonstrates that He loves us rather than a lack thereof.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 1-11-2
© Dr. H 2024
Dr H Reflections 