
Be nice ∙
You must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. – Colossians 3:12
2 Corinthians 6:6 We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love.
Proverbs 3:3 Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart.
Acts 9:36 There was a believer in Joppa named Tabitha (which in Greek is Dorcas). She was always doing kind things for others and helping the poor.
Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to be too nice? According to a study titled “8 Benefits of Being a Nice Person, which showed you can almost never be too nice (psychologytoday.com, November 8, 2022). In the realm of personality psychology, the quality of being “nice” is often synonymous with the trait of “agreeableness.” Agreeableness is “the personality trait primarily concerned with helping and building positive relationships with others” (Ones and Wilmot). Another term for agreeableness is “love.” As noted in 1 Corinthians 13:8, Love never fails.
Agreeableness encompasses key sub-facets: trust, compassion, and politeness. Compassion can further be broken down into graciousness and tender-mindedness, which involves gentleness towards others. Politeness includes attributes like cooperativeness, straightforwardness, and modesty.
There are eight notable benefits to being agreeable. Demonstrating kindness can significantly enhance your well-being, especially when exercised wisely. These benefits include:
• Self-transcendence: A drive to care for others and engage in spiritual or religious practices.
• Contentment: The ability to accept and adapt to life’s challenges.
• Relational investment: A desire to build and sustain strong relationships.
• Teamworking: The empathic ability to align your goals with those of others.
• Work investment: A readiness to diligently tackle tasks.
• Lower results emphasis: A tendency to be forgiving and lenient.
• Social norm orientation: A natural inclination to follow rules and meet societal expectations.
• Social integration: Being well-adjusted in society and avoiding antisocial behaviors.
A bit of personal reflection indicates that these qualities describe the ideal friend, colleague, or marriage partner.
The kindness we show reflects the heart of the Father. Because we have been treated and dealt with according to His kindness, we are liberated to follow after Him and live out and demonstrate kindness to others. Genuine kindness is produced through the work of the Holy Spirit within. It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22).
As 2 Corinthians 6:6 reminds us, we demonstrate our character through purity, understanding, patience, and kindness, all nurtured by the Holy Spirit within us, complemented by sincere love.
REFLECT & PRAY
The Father calls us to put on His spiritual garments, not just leave them hanging unused in the scripture’s closet. They must be worn to benefit us truly.
Father, I acknowledge that I am a work in progress regarding kindness. Encourage and empower me to be gentle and as harmless as a dove. Help me fully embrace my new identity in Christ.
INSIGHT
Colossians 3:12 encourages us to embody tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
The Greek word translated as “kindness” is chrestotes, which signifies being “warmhearted,” “considerate,” “humane,” “gentle,” and “sympathetic.” It embodies goodness and integrity, akin to being “harmless as a dove.” Chrestotes pervades one’s nature and disposition. Such a lifestyle is developed over time. Those who are truly kind have mellowed with age in a fashion similar to fine wine (Luke 5:39).
Proverbs 3:3 advises, “Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart.” The Hebrew word translated as “kindness” is hesed. Hesed is also rendered as “lovingkindness,” “reliability,” “mercy,” and “loyal love.” Rather than insisting on our own way, it implies walking humbly with God, aligning our desires with those of the Father, and doing what He wishes us to do.
Hesed is one of the most beautiful and fascinating words used in the Old Testament to describe the Father. The Father has many attractive characteristics, personality traits, and attributes. One of the most delightful of all is His quality of hesed. It is used to express and focus on His lovingkindness. Becoming children of the King introduces us to a new way of living, shedding old priorities and behaviors for new ones. As Paul suggests, “New character demands new characteristics” (Richison). Paul encourages us to live out our new life in Christ. The logic is simple. “God expects us to approximate our daily condition to our heavenly condition. He wants us to live out the ideals and attitudes of our new nature” (Richison).
Kindness reflects a calm and gentle approach to life, embracing forgiveness and avoiding anger or hostility when faced with wrongdoing. It’s “the art of being dear” (Lord Hailsham). Kindness is the manifestation of empathy, love, and compassion. Kindness is to be seen in both our demeanor and acts of kindness. Kindness is expressed through practical care and helpfulness. It manifests itself in a sweet disposition and thoughtful interpersonal dealings (Constable). There was a child of the King in Joppa named Tabitha (which in Greek is Dorcas). She consistently did kind things for others and helped the poor (Acts 9:36).
Matthew 11:30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
The Greek word translated as “easy is chrestos. Chrestos has the sense of “being soft and mild,” “gently pleasant,” that is “kind,” not harsh, stern, or severe. Kindness has a transformative quality.
Romans 2:4 Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?
The Lord Jesus Christ describes His yoke: “My yoke is easy [chrestos].” Kindness is listed in Galatians 5:22 as a fruit of the Spirit and thus is a result of the work of the Spirit in the life of the child of the King.
“One of the most beautiful pictures of kindness in the Bible is King David’s treatment of the crippled prince, Mephibosheth (see 2 Samuel 9). David desired to show ‘the kindness of God’ to King Saul’s family because of his own love for Saul’s son, Jonathan. The young man chosen was Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s son, a poor cripple.”
“If David had acted according to justice, he would have condemned Mephibosheth, for the man belonged to a condemned family. But David acted on the basis of love and grace” (Wiersbe).
David sought out Mephibosheth and assured him not to be afraid. He invited Mephibosheth to live in the palace as a member of his family and to eat at the king’s abundant table. This exemplifies the kindness of God! As children of the King, we have experienced an even more incredible kindness, for we will live with Him in heaven forever! (Wiersbe)
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© Dr. H 2024