Good deeds – harsh reactions ∙

Good deeds – harsh reactions ∙

The oxen stumbled, and Uzzah reached out his hand to steady the Ark. Then the LORD’s anger was aroused against Uzzah, and he struck him dead because he had laid his hand on the Ark. – 1 Chronicles 13:9-10

Romans 7:5-25

 5 When our old nature controlled us, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death.

 6 But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now, we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.

 12 But still, the law itself is holy, and its commands are holy and right and good.

 14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin.

 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.

 21 I have discovered this principle of life – that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.

 22 I love God’s law with all my heart.

 23 But another power within me is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.

 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

“The Gift of the Magi,” penned by O. Henry in 1905, beautifully captures the essence of sacrifice and love through the story of Jim and Della Young. Each cherished a prized possession: for Jim, it was the gold watch handed down from his grandfather and father, while Della treasured her long, flowing hair that reached down to her knees.

As Christmas approached, both yearned to delight the other with a special gift, yet their financial struggles posed a challenge. Della aspired to buy a gold chain for Jim’s watch, and Jim hoped to purchase a luxurious hairbrush for Della’s exquisite hair. In a profound act of love, Jim sold his watch to buy the brush, and Della sacrificed her hair to buy the chain. Their exchange of gifts revealed the depth of their love and the sacrifices they were willing to make, moving them to tears as they embraced. True love often means selflessly prioritizing another’s joy and delight sacrificing whatever it takes to make it happen.

However, human relationships can be complex, with good intentions sometimes leading to unexpected outcomes for ostensibly good deeds. Ironically, doing good is often fraught with unforeseen and unintended consequences.

Bible-based counselors suggest that unresolved childhood wounds can shape adult responses. Painful past experiences can trigger disproportionate reactions to seemingly minor provocations in relationships, leading to fight, flight or emotional shutdown responses.

We tend to get most angry at the people that we are closest to because they are least likely to abandon us. Sometimes, one partner reacts very harshly to what seemed to the other to be a good deed. The doer of the deed is often wounded and responds, “But I did not do anything wrong.” And from there, things go downhill. Until these old wounds are addressed, they can continue to influence behavior and communication.

There is an invisible, unstated principle working itself out. Until the lingering, old wounds are genuinely healed, we act out of our hurt. What we say flows from what is in our hearts (Luke 6:45).

Scriptures offer wisdom on managing anger and fostering peace. Proverbs advises gentle answers to deflect anger and highlights the folly of quarreling, while James reminds us that human anger does not yield God’s righteousness. Responding with anger achieves little; instead, we have the power to choose understanding and forgiveness.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

Proverbs 20:3 Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.

Proverbs 29:22 An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.

James 1:20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

Being angry and lashing out accomplishes nothing of any value.

Recognizing the root of our reactions is crucial. By embracing forgiveness and consciously opting for positive, moderated responses, we can diminish lingering anger over time, fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

REFLECT & PRAY

We know that the law is good when applied appropriately. It was not crafted for those who walk in righteousness, but rather for the lawless, the rebellious, the ungodly, and the sinful, who consider nothing sacred and defile what is holy (1 Timothy 1:8-9).

Father, I find it challenging to fully grasp the vastness of Your holiness and the sanctity of all You declare as sacred. It is equally difficult for me to uncover the profound wounds within myself and to embrace Your healing and release. Yet, this remains the deepest longing of my heart – an earnest desire for spiritual growth and restoration.  

INSIGHT

Why did the Father strike Uzzah dead for merely touching the Ark? Though it seems his intentions were good, it’s essential to understand the specific laws that governed this situation. The Father established rules through the Law of Moses to guide Israel towards a successful and righteous path, many of which impart vital life lessons.

Just as parents warn children against touching hot surfaces or playing with fire for their own safety, the Father’s commandments serve to protect and instruct. David and his men, despite their zeal for the Father, failed to honor the Ark’s sanctity by transporting it on an ox-driven cart, akin to a modern U-Haul. Such negligence equates to disrespect towards the Father. Nothing good could come from it: “Treatment of the ark is tantamount to treatment of God himself” (ESV notes).

According to Mosaic law (Numbers 4:15), the Ark was never to be touched by Israelites. Only the Kohathites, a Levite clan, were permitted to carry it, using specially designed poles inserted into rings on the Ark (Exodus 25:12-15). Touching it, regardless of intent, was a direct violation warranting death. This is harsh! But how is it different from getting burned by playing with fire? Yet, it parallels the consequences of ignoring the natural laws that the Father established.

God is holy, righteous, and just, but also gracious and compassionate. While He upholds His laws, He yearns to extend mercy to those who genuinely seek it. This balance of justice and mercy reflects the divine character, teaching us the importance of reverence and obedience to His will.

Isaiah 55:7 Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong. Let them turn to the LORD that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.

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© Dr. H 2024

Old-time religion ∙∙∙

Old-time religion ∙∙∙

You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! – John 5:39

Luke 24:44-47

 44 He said to them, “These are My words which I spoke to you while I was still with you, that all things which are written about Me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.”

 45 Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures,

 46 and He said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ would suffer and rise again from the dead the third day,”

 47 “and that repentance for forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem.”

That old time religion

Give me that old time religion, Give me that old time religion,

Give me that old time religion, It’s good enough for me.

It was good for Paul and Silas, It was good for Paul and Silas,

It was good for Paul and Silas, It’s good enough for me.

It was good for the Hebrew children, It was good for the Hebrew children,

It was good for the Hebrew children, It’s good enough for me.  

Makes me love ev’ry body, Makes me love ev’ry body,

Makes me love ev’ry body, It’s good enough for me.

Great works of literature share common elements: a central theme, a structured narrative, and a topic or subject. What is the theme of the Bible? The answer is concise and summarized by one word: redemption. What is the subject of the Old Testament Scriptures? Again, the answer is straightforward. The subject of the Old Testament Scriptures is a person: The Lord Jesus Christ. This sacred book, crafted by the Father, centers on His beloved Son, who provides redemption from sin.

Often, when we approach the Scriptures, they seem more like an enigmatic novel rather than a straightforward guide. The Bible can appear as a closed book, its profound truths elusive and hidden. It often seems inscrutable.

This was the experience of the disciples despite spending over three years with the most outstanding teacher that has ever lived. They frequently struggled to grasp His teachings fully. They simply did not get it. It wasn’t that the Scriptures were inaccessible; instead, the disciples’ hearts were closed. They were unresponsive, their ears dulled, and their minds clouded and muddled. They failed to comprehend fully the teaching and wisdom they received.

Their understanding was heavily influenced by the cultural norms and religious beliefs of their time. They were caught in a web of futile speculations and conflicting ideas, missing both the grand narrative and the finer details. In their intellectual stubbornness, they resembled the Gentiles, the pagans of their era. Yet, the transformative power of truly understanding the Scriptures lies in breaking through these barriers and embracing the clarity and redemption that the Lord Jesus Christ offers.

Ephesians 4:17-18

 17 The Gentiles . . . are hopelessly confused.

 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him.

The disciples were not outsiders to the faith; they were Jews, deeply rooted in their rich spiritual heritage. This irony added a profound layer of tragedy to their situation. Despite their intimate knowledge of the Mosaic law and their cultural identity, their hearts and minds remained closed off. This stark contrast between their identity and their resistance to true understanding highlighted a profound and unsettling disconnect.

2 Corinthians 3:14-16

 14 But the people’s minds were hardened, and to this day, whenever the Old Testament is being read, the same veil covers their minds so they cannot understand the truth. And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ.

 15 Yes, even today, when they read Moses’ writings, their hearts are covered with that veil, and they do not understand.

 16 But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.

The disciples found themselves turning to the Lord Jesus Christ with anticipation as something truly extraordinary was on the horizon. The marvel of their transformation was about to unfold, offering a beacon of hope and change. What’s most remarkable is that this profound transformation is not exclusive to the disciples; it is a possibility for anyone who follows Him, inviting all children of the King on a thrilling and inclusive spiritual journey.

Luke 24:45 He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.

REFLECT & PRAY

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. – John 16:13

Father, thank You for giving us the precious gift of Your word. We are truly grateful for the Holy Spirit, who illuminates our understanding of its truth so that we might comprehend it. Open the eyes of our hearts and minds so that we may receive what You have already provided for us.

INSIGHT

When the Lord Jesus Christ revealed Himself to His disciples, He conducted one of history’s most enlightening Bible studies. The Lord Jesus Christ takes the disciples through an old-fashioned, old-time religion Bible study. But it was more than a Bible study; it transcended conventional boundaries.

The Lord Jesus was not merely a teacher; He was a prophet. Prophets are the Father’s spokesman. They are the Father’s seers. When they speak, they open the minds of those that hear to see. When they speak, they enable listeners to gain deeper insights. A prophet’s impact was more about revelation than explanation, often unveiling truths beneath the surface. For instance, during the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus challenged conventional thinking, unveiling deeper moral truths, as seen in Matthew 5:27-28, where He expanded upon the concept of adultery to include thoughts of lust.

Matthew 5:27-28

 27 You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’

 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Recall that real impediments lay not in the Scriptures but in closed minds. The Lord Jesus Christ enabled His followers to truly grasp the meaning of teachings they had previously heard or read. This transformative gift from Jesus opened their understanding, allowing the Scriptures to reveal their full beauty and truth. No longer limited to basics, the disciples could now delve into the profound wisdom and knowledge within, exploring the rich depths of the Word.

The Jewish people divided and ordered the Old Testament into three segments: The “Law,” comprising the Five Books of Moses; the “Prophets,” encompassing Joshua through 2 Kings, as well as Isaiah through Malachi; and the “Psalms,” the rest of the Old Testament. The referred to the Old Testament as the Tenach. Before the first coming of Christ, the Jewish people curated messianic prophecies from the entire Old Testament. They grouped these snippets into various thematic clusters or collections that predicted the coming of the Messiah.

The Gospel of Matthew highlights these fulfilled prophecies. It is one thing to have a list of messianic prophecies. It is quite another to understand them and recognize their actual fulfillment. Where did Matthew’s knowledge and understanding of these prophecies come from? Perhaps it was from the intensive biblical review that the Lord Jesus Christ provided.

The Father’s intervention is necessary to open hearts and minds to the truth of His Word, as spiritual discernment is essential for understanding divine wisdom. What a remarkable and delightful privilege it was for the disciples to have the Lord Jesus Christ personally elucidate these truths. He promised the Holy Spirit would continue this enlightenment, guiding each child of the King on a similar path of understanding and revelation.

John 14:26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative – that is, the Holy Spirit – he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.

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© Dr. H 2024

Finishing with joy ∙∙

Finishing with joy ∙∙

But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it to finish the work assigned to me by the Lord Jesus– the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. – Acts 20:24

2 Timothy 4:1-7

 1 I solemnly urge you in the presence of God and Christ Jesus, who will someday judge the living and the dead when he appears to set up his Kingdom:

 2 Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.

 3 For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear.

 4 They will reject the truth and chase after myths.

 5 But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.

 6 As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near.

 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.

In the 1992 Summer Olympics in Barcelona, an unforgettable moment unfolded. Derek Redmond was rounding the track on the 400-meter race when suddenly, he collapsed and crumpled down with a torn hamstring. Determined, he waved off the paramedics and began to limp, hop, and even crawl toward the finish line.

In a heart-stirring turn of events, Derek’s father burst from the stands, evading security to support his son. With tears streaming, Derek leaned on his father’s shoulders, and together they continued, step by step, as the stadium erupted with cheers and applause from 65,000 spectators, who were moved by the father and son’s shared resolve to finish what Derek started.

This powerful moment mirrors the spiritual journey we embark on when we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior. We join a divine race, part of God’s grand design for each of us. Our Heavenly Father has crafted a distinct path for every child of the King, a unique course set in eternity past, filled with His dreams and plans for our lives.

We are each endowed with the gifts and abilities necessary to fulfill our divine assignments. Embracing this journey requires our constant dedication and a willingness to recommit to the race laid before us, guided by the unwavering support and love of our Father.

In every race, there are three essential goals: striving to win, doing the best we can by pushing ourselves to the limit, ensuring we cross the finish line, and finding joy in the competition itself.

Yet, there are moments when defeat seems inevitable, and the urge to give up looms large. But then, a remarkable surge of supernatural energy from within us, almost like spiritual adrenaline, fuels our determination and perseverance. This inner strength propels us forward, overcoming obstacles and driving us to triumph, just as it did for Paul. The race is not only about the destination but also about the unwavering spirit with which we run.

Philippians 3:12-14

 12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.

 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,

 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

REFLECT & PRAY

I recognize that the game of life is just not fair. The Father never said it would be.

Father, encourage me to run the race You have graciously assigned to me, completing my tasks with integrity and endurance.

INSIGHT

At the heart of it all is what truly matters. Paul did not cling to his life as a precious possession to be protected at all costs. He didn’t seek out safety or build barriers to shield himself from danger. Instead, he was ready to risk everything for the Lord Jesus Christ, his Savior, his Lord, his Messiah, his closest friend.

What mattered most to Paul was faithfully fulfilling the assignment the Father entrusted to him: to spread the “Good News” that Jesus came to save sinners, with Paul himself acknowledging he was the foremost among them.

Paul distilled his mission into three powerful words in Greek: keruxon ton logon. Which translates as preach the word (2 Timothy 4:2) became his credo, his guiding principle, and the essence of his life. Paul was deeply in love with the Word of God. For Paul, preaching the Word was priority one. The truth and transformation it offered were treasures he eagerly shared, embracing the task given to him by the Father.

In the Father’s spiritual Olympics, Paul’s “event” was to proclaim the extraordinary grace of God (Acts 20:24), Which is what he lived for.

He determined to run his race with excellence and finish strong. The joy he found in sharing the “Good News” was unmatched and lasting. This same joy was shared by all the apostles and one that should resonate with every child of the King.

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

To “walk in truth” means actively engaging with God’s Word: hearing it, receiving it, and wholeheartedly following its guidance. This journey is fueled by the power of the Holy Spirit. Walking in truth is where theory meets practice, transforming truth from a mere concept into a living, breathing force that saturates the spirit and soul of each child of the King. This truth shapes our thoughts and drives our actions, allowing us to reflect His likeness in our daily lives.

For those who teach the truth, there is no greater joy and fulfillment than witnessing this profound transformation in others.

Hebrews 12:1-5

 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now, he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

 3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.

 4 After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.

 5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you.”

In our journey of faith, we often face challenges and trials. Our Heavenly Father offers us encouragement to persevere and succeed by reminding us that others have completed this journey, and so can we.

In many sports, the best athletes are inducted into a Hall of Fame. Similarly, the Scriptures have a Hall of Fame for the Faithful Old Testament children of the King who ran the race. These heroes of the faith are the “great cloud of witnesses” mentioned in Hebrews 12:1.

These witnesses are not simply spectators in heaven watching us, like fans at an athletic event. The term “witnesses” refers to those who bear testimony to God’s faithfulness. Our English word “martyr” is derived from the Greek word martureo for “witness.” It takes on the sense of not merely observing but commending and approving what is observed. They attest to us that God is capable of guiding us through our trials.

“These people are not witnessing what we are doing; rather, they are bearing witness to us that God can see us through. God bore witness to them Hebrews 11:2, 4-5, 39) and they are bearing witness now to us” (Wiersbe).

These witnesses bear testimony to God’s faithfulness, showing us that with faith, we too can overcome.

The Hall of Fame for the Faithful still has openings.

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© Dr. H 2024

What, me worry? ∙∙

What, me worry? ∙∙

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? – Matthew 6:27

Matthew 6:25-34

 25 That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life – whether you have enough food and drink or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?

 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant, harvest, or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?

 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

 28 And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing,

 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.

 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

 31 So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’

 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.

 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

 34 So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Submarines were once ominously referred to as “iron coffins.” However, by the close of the nineteenth century, these vessels had become significantly safer. An iconic image from this era captures John Philip Holland, a pioneering Irish engineer, emerging from a submarine hatch while sporting a derby hat. In 1898, a cartoon based on this photograph featured the caption, “What, me worry?”

Fast forward to 1954, when Mad Magazine made its debut. Harvey Kurtzman, the magazine’s creator, adopted this carefree sentiment as a central theme. In 1956, Mad’s second editor, Al Feldstein, officially christened “Alfred E. Neuman” as the publication’s quintessential mascot. With his mischievous grin and nonchalant demeanor, Neuman quickly became synonymous with Mad Magazine, embodying its irreverent spirit with the catchphrase, “What, me worry?”

To solidify Alfred E. Neuman’s image, Feldstein enlisted Norman Mingo, a renowned American commercial artist and illustrator. Mingo was tasked with refining the character’s look, capturing a blend of charm and intelligence while also exuding a carefree, devil-may-care attitude. The result was a figure who could maintain his sense of humor even as chaos unfolded around him, forever linking Neuman and his motto with Mad Magazine’s legacy.

Alfred E. Neuman

The Lord Jesus Christ encourages His followers to adopt an attitude similar to Alfred E. Neuman’s, minus the mischievousness, when it comes to worldly concerns.

In the Scriptures, the Lord Jesus Christ poses a provocative rhetorical question: “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:27). The answer is clear – no, of course not.

Since worrying yields no positive outcome, why do it? It is worth reconsidering this common human tendency. Embracing a worry-free mindset aligns with the teachings of Christ and can lead to a more peaceful, faith-driven life.

REFLECT & PRAY

The Father doesn’t ask us to stop worrying about food, shelter, and clothing because they’re unnecessary. On the contrary, He understands their importance. He is well aware that we need them. However, we can let go of our worries because He promised to provide for our essential needs (Stanley).

Father, if birds and lilies do not fret about their next meal or appearance and are entirely cared for by You, help me to emulate their trust and have faith in Your provision.

INSIGHT

The propensity to worry seems ingrained in human nature as part of our fallen DNA. Fretting does nothing to extend life, provide food, or supply clothing (Matthew 6:27). In fact, worry can actually shorten life.

If it achieves nothing beneficial, our attitudes and emotions that fuel worry need to be revisited. The Father is aware of our needs and has promised to meet them, so why should we be anxious? But of greater importance, Jesus Christ instructed us not to worry, emphasizing trust in God’s faithful provision.

Matthew 6:25 Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life.

Matthew 6:31 So do not worry . . ..

Matthew 6:34 Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow.

In no way does this mean that we should disregard planning and reflecting on the future. Instead, we should ignore the worry that often comes with such efforts. A skilled carpenter carefully plans their work, sketches the final product, and gathers all necessary materials and tools to build what is envisioned. What they don’t need to do is worry about the project itself. The Lord Jesus Christ, who worked as a carpenter alongside Joseph in Galilee, understood this well.

Sadly, maintaining this balance is a common struggle for the children of the King. The Father calls us to single-minded devotion, urging us to seek His kingdom first. While it’s natural to be concerned about outcomes, allowing worry to dominate our thoughts leads to a divided focus. We become double-minded. When we prioritize our own security, we end up giving God only what’s left.

By placing our trust in God first, we can be confident that He will provide for our needs and guide our lives.

Jesus supported His teachings with examples from nature. Birds, constantly active, still rely on God’s provision despite the challenges they face. Lilies and wildflowers grow effortlessly. They do not expend effort like animals do, yet they are beautifully adorned.

Matthew 6:28 Think about how the flowers of the field grow; they do not work or spin.

The Greek term translated as “think about,” “observe,” or “consider” is katamanthano. Katamanthano means to watch something carefully to learn from it. It is intellectual awareness that is gained through examination and reflection.

Flowers and grasses merely exist and grow. They do not labor or strive. The Father adorns them for the natural environment in which they live, showing us the simplicity and ease of His care.

If the Father cares for birds and flowers, how much more will He care for the children of the King? This assurance calls us to trust in His provision and focus on His kingdom, reminding us of His deep love and care for us.

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© Dr. H 2024

Masters or Disasters ∙∙

Masters or Disasters ∙∙

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32

1 Peter 3:8-12

 8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.

 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

 10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”

 11 “Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.”

 12 “The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”

During the 1970s, American marriages faced a significant crisis. They were deteriorating into dysfunctional bitterness, ending in separation or divorce at unprecedented levels. This prompted social scientists to begin an in-depth study of marriage. Among them was John Gottman, who has been conducting research for over forty years.

In 1986, alongside his colleague Robert Levenson, Gottman established the “Love Lab” at the University of Washington. They engaged newlywed couples, observing their interactions while measuring physiological responses like heart rate, blood flow, and perspiration, which were indicative of psychological activity. Six years later, they checked back to see which couples remained together, classifying them into two groups: Masters and Disasters.

The Disasters were in constant fight-or-flight mode. They were aggressive and prepared to attack and be attacked.

Conversely, the Masters appeared calm and connected, displaying warmth and affection even amidst disagreements. What made the difference? The Masters had created a climate of trust and intimacy that made them more emotionally and physically comfortable.

Investigating further, Gottman noticed couples made “bids” for connection, seeking signs of interest or support from each other. Once a bid was made, partners responded to these bids by either turning toward or away. Statistically, Disasters turned toward bids only 33% of the time, while Masters turned toward 87% of the time, fulfilling their partners’ needs almost 90% of the time.

Qualitatively, the success of a marriage depends on what partners bring to the relationship, whether it’s kindness and generosity or contempt and hostility (https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/).

In 21st-century America, the challenges of marriage persist, with many facing divorce, separation, or enduring discord under the same roof.

Spiritually, the solution to this human struggle mirrors the answer to the eternal issues of sin and separation from God. He designed a way to resurrect those spiritually dead and offer eternal life. He bonded with us, the children of the King, and established eternal intimacy, affection, and love. Placed at His right hand through Christ Jesus, we are eternally turned toward Him, with redemption and transformation already underway that will never end.

Ephesians 2:1-7

 1 Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins.

 2 You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil – the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.

 3 All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else.

 4 But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much,

 5 that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)

 6 For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.

 7 So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus

REFLECT & PRAY

Master or Disaster, choose wisely.

Haggai 2:19 From this day on, I will bless you.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your lives.

Father, coach me in the skill of practicing trust, closeness, and intimacy with You and my essential partner on planet Earth.

INSIGHT

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him.”

The Father designed and created Adam and Eve to be partners who complement each other. The Hebrew word translated as “companion,” “helper,” or “help meet” (KJV)is ‘ezer, which describes an “indispensable companion.” Individually, man and woman were only partially complete without each other. They were compliments. Each lacked something to be whole. “The plain fact is that Adam needed Eve” (Wiersbe). The woman was designed to provide what the man lacked, and logically, the man would offer what she needed, even if not explicitly stated (ESV notes).

They were both made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). They were, at the same time, distinct yet equal. She was no less than Adam. She was essential for his completeness. “She was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved” (Matthew Henry).

Being a helper is not degrading. In fact, the Father often referred to Himself as a “helper” (‘ezer) to the children of the King. As our helper, He does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He meets our needs, doing what we cannot do alone.

Being a helper is not an inferior or demeaning position. The Father often referred to Himself as a “helper” (‘ezer) to the children of the King. As our helper, He does for us what we cannot do for ourselves and meets our needs.

Paul urges us, as the children of the King, to return to the Father’s original purpose and design for marriage, which is rooted in kindness, forgiveness, and tenderheartedness.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

The Greek word for “kindness” is chrestos, which stems from the verb chraomai, meaning to furnish what is needed, beneficial, and suitable for any purpose. A thriving marriage involves each partner supplying what is essential for the other’s well-being. Kindness implies being gently pleasant, soft, and mild, avoiding harshness, inflexibility, or severity.

Choosing to live with abundant kindness in marriage is a decision every child of the King can make and reinforce continually.

This is the art in which marriage Masters excel. It is accessible to anyone. Exercising abundant kindness is all about choice, determination, and practice. As we develop this skill, we showcase the Father’s boundless grace to the world, both now and forever (Ephesians 2:7).

Determine to turn toward, not away.

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© Dr. H 2024